Not my best work

Here is another dishcloth. I must have torn it out 15 times total. I just couldn't seem to get this pattern! But maybe I have hit the wall with the dishcloths? They represent something for me that I can't articulate. For some reason it is very important that I make them. I think maybe it's because I need something perfect and beautiful in my life. And maybe I need to show the control over something. And I think they also represent my whole idea of going green with beauty and style. Well, whatever it is, I need to do them and here is another one.

Another Dishcloth

This week, I 

1. finished testing all students

2. re-did two bulletin boards

3. cleaned a corner of the classroom that really needed it

4. went to a Professional Development Workshop that I liked!

5. wrote all my report cards and tried to schedule conferences

6. And...made another dishcloth!

This is the Berries pattern. It is knit on the diagonal. I can finish one of these in two days if there is something good on television! 

And here's another one!

Here's a picture of another dishcloth I finished. I am wondering who to give these to. I am thinking about giving them with a nice bar of soap and other little trinkets. 

While I am knitting I am thinking about the concept of resentment and it's effects in my life. It's like all my thoughts and feelings go into the dishcloth I am knitting and I am unburdened for a while. 

Now I am starting a lacy scarf in mohair. And tonight I watched To Have and Have Not with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall. Every time I watch that movie I am struck by how tiny Bogart is. I think Bacall outweighed him in that movie. This is the one where she says if you need me just whistle and then: "You know how to whistle, don't you Steve? You just pucker up and blow." Walter Brennan is in the movie as an old drunk. I came home tired and sick and started the scarf and was in Martinique with Bogie and Bacall. And then I did report cards! 

Tonight if I had one wish it would be to just do one thing for awhile-- and that would be knitting!

The Round Dishcloth!

I finally knitted a round dishcloth! I have wanted to for a long time, but never quite had the right pattern for me. Even though I finished this one and the pattern (eventually) seemed to be somewhat intuitive, I still had to rip it out three times. The problem was I would get involved in watching something on television and would forget where I was. When I realized that I was getting distracted, I turned it off. The whole thing took about two hours total. At that rate, I could do one every week or so. But really, is the universe ready for dishcloths???? 

Today I found the project management tool of Word. And made big plans for school and for the rest of my life. And now to implement them. Round dishcloths are included in the plans. I am making time for this ultimate form of therapy.

Catching up

I was catching up last night with someone I hadn't spoken to for a while. And the old resentment came out as we were talking. I looked up resentment in the dictionary and they referred to the word "grudge." And yet, I, wonderful, saintly person, also swore that I never held a grudge. Ha! Obviously, I am full of grudges and getting more all the time!

Also, I realized that resentment for me is a result of saying yes when I really meant no. Then I resent the act or the service or the task but am stuck doing it because I said yes. And not being honest with people makes me resentful as well. So I need to be honest with the people I can be honest with (you know who you are!). 

So, as I contemplate resentment and its effect in my life, I realize how it's taken its toll. And now I must act to clear up the resentment in my life. 

And more dischcloths!

Red Heart Dishcloth and Resentment

Another dishcloth! What good therapy! And cheap! The cost of a ball of yarn and I am calm!
But seriously folks, I realized this week that I have been harboring--well, maybe living with and having it consume me--- resentment for a long time. I thought of how many people I resent and it's in the hundreds. It could be in the thousands, but I stopped thinking about it after a while. So... here and now in front of God and everybody, I am declaring myself free from resentment. I am replacing it with gratitude---and dishcloths.
"Resentment is like taking poison and expecting the other person to die."
Malachy McCourt

(I can't get the pic of the red heart dishcloth to load! I totally resent that!--Kidding!)